Alien Resurrection, and Other Tales of Woe From Girly Tennis

Written by Pat Davis

Tuesday, 16 March 2010 14:15

Jelena Jankovic is sometimes referred to - with good humor we should hasten to add - as the "alien" because of her unusual facial features. Yesterday she took us on another wild ride through the far corners of the tennis court, and if you didn't want a good stiff drink after this one why then you're probably dead already

It was nearly 4:30 yesterday afternoon and I needed a caffeine buzz. Maybe it's because of the courts at Indian Wells. Is it just me or does it feel like the players are hitting through molasses out there? They look really, really sloooww. I am nearly ready for a snoozeville.

For the last hour or so my patience was being sorely tried. I was watching Jankovic try and get the upper hand on Italy's Sara Errani. Winning ugly has its limits, even for a diehard Jankovic fan like moi. This has got to be one of the ugliest matches of the week, and we've seen our share already of the uglies.

Around and around they go, where they'll stop nobody knows. That's what this match was like. Breaks traded, momentum swings galore, good shotmaking followed by lots of "eewwws". Everything anyone could hope to find that is annoying about the women's game. Now, sometimes this combo can produce some satisfying matches, but not today. It was more like sitting through Chinese water torture.

Errani is one of the lesser known Italian players, but hey, she was still hanging around long after Pennetta and Schiavone were beaten, so kudos to her. Her game is not all that impressive, but her stubbornness was. She just wasn't going to make anything easy for Jelena.

I appreciate Jelena's flair for the dramatic. She nearly has me convinced she is really suffering out there at times physically. Maybe she's in need of coffee too. Jelena suffers magnificently. Sometimes I suspect she likes to whip herself up and use that energy to transform her sorry game into something passable enough to get her sorry Asta across the finish line. That's basically how she won yesterday.

Her post-match presser must have been an absolute hoot. Can't you hear her going on in vivid detail about her trials and tribulations? There she was, surrounded on all sides by the superb skills of her opponent, who did indeed play well, in patches. Why, it was nearly the Field of Sparrows all over again! But in the end, Jelena somehow invoked her gods, and they lifted her up to victory.

In the end, Jelena often does settle down, then she straightens up and flies right. She's a big-time scrapper for sure, and that's what I love about her. But yesterday was a toughie to sit through. I must be getting old.

- - - - -

Alisa Kleybanova and Kim Clijsters in the nightcap (yes, we are drinking now), was a different proposition altogether. You would expect some bruising of the tennis ball to take place, and in that you would be correct. They slapped each other silly for a good while.

I thought Kleybanova could win this match. Mostly because Kim may be feeling a bit vulnerable now. It may be sinking in finally that her out of the blue win at the Open was due to a confluence of events that may not occur again anytime soon. Now she'll have to go out and earn her keep like all the other girls. None of this "slipping through" the draw into a final.

Besides, Kleybanova can pulverize the ball from both sides, even with the head-bobs that can drive the purists crazy. It works for her, so don't argue. Her power I felt would give Kim pause.

They were an interesting contrast in styles: Kim often rushing her play, Kleybanova being very deliberate and calm, especially on the serve. Unlike the Errani-Jankovic match, you knew these two weren't going to dink each other today. There was some real muscling of the ball back and forth. Great stuff to see!

But in the end Kleybanova laid hands on the Belief, Kim let it slip away. In fact, it felt like a COMPLETE cave on her part.

As I said last week, the women seemed destined to give us plenty of grief this year at IW. The three crowd favorites - Henin, Sharapova and now Clijsters - are gone indeed. Boohoo I suppose.